To Hug or Not to Hug

Oh I’ve really missed you all. I think about my blog friends every day. Even though you don’t talk much I know you’re there. You’re watching out for me and I’m watching out for you. You just don’t like the spotlight much (you know you need to work on that, don’t you?) and you don’t want to write a comment unless you think it’s really worthwhile. I get it, I’m the same way. None-the-less, I know you’re there and I appreciate you. In fact, if I could I would reach out and pinch your sweet cheeks. Not those cheeks, the ones on your face that are now bright red.

Maybe I wouldn’t really pinch your cheeks — because that hurts. But I’d probably hug you. nah, I definitely would hug you for reading my words and being there for me when I’m not sure what I’m doing or why I’m writing or what the heck is going on outside (snow or no snow?).

If you’re not a hugger, I’ve got to tell you – you’re missing out. This I know because for many, many years I was a bona-fide non-hugger. Didn’t like people touching me. Really felt awkward when people looked me directly in the eye too. I did my best to shrug off intimate situations like hugging and eye-looking by cracking jokes, putting on my “big-girl-I’m-in-control-voice” or simply by holding something between me and you.

Then something happened and I decided to try hugging. I think what happened is that I chose to dig a little deeper into my stuff. Y’know, stuff. the crap that happens and accumulates in the closets of your mind and heart while you’re busy climbing the corporate ladder, trying to make a marriage work, dealing with the marriage ending, trying to grow a business, trying to read your friends’ minds, wondering if everyone really IS saying nasty things about you when you’re at the cocktail party that seems waaayyy out of your league. That stuff. I started digging and found out some more stuff. Like I’m okay most of the time. Like most people aren’t actually spending that much time dissecting my every move. Like hugging never killed anyone.

Oh, there’s more stuff to get through – always is. It’s often messy and mucky — I use the analogy of making my way through a dark, damp tunnel trying to get to the other side. (crap, I just realized that sounds like a pretty common symbolism for being birthed – never noticed that til now!) During the time in the tunnel I don’t have a light just my mind’s eye, hands and feet to guide me. It’s dirty and messy but also full of mystery and, dare I say Fun – or at least moments of illumination that lead me to fun.

Anyway, I’m on the journey – and this month that’s meant putting money in the bank. My plan includes helping one of my dearest and most amazing entrepreneurial friends with her business – and her business doesn’t stop, so I’m on the go – alot. But you know what? The momentum is fun (albeit physically tiring at times) and seems to be igniting all kinds of other things that are coming down the pike – things I wouldn’t have even dared dream about if I wasn’t off my duff doing some work and bringing in some tide-over cash for Christmas shopping.

So that’s where I’ve been. You’ve missed me and I’ve missed you. Wait til I see you, you’ll get that hug!

What do you mean when you say everything is Neutral?

Your hands are a microcosm of you.  Your emotions, your beliefs, your actions and your focus are all available to me when I read your hands. 

My personal belief is that humans are genuinely good – that we were born to this life with pure intentions and great possibilities. 

Everything you are now started from that perspective.  What you’ve done since being born may have made you proud or sad.  Your feelings throughout your life may dwell in happiness and dreams or sadness and anger.  More likely your emotions travel a winding road as you go through your life.  Some days you feel great, it’s “green lights all the way” and other days you feel run down or beaten up.

Are those “good” or “bad” feelings?  Why do they have to be on or the other?  They are simply feelings and part of your human experience.

That’s the way I review your hands.  To my way of thinking there isn’t anything “good” or “bad” there – it’s simply the way you are.  You may not like to hear about your amazing potential because it reminds you how you’ve been settling in your life up to this point.  That doesn’t make the message bad, it simply points out your truth.  You already know your truth, but for whatever reason you’ve been paralyzed from moving forward.  That’s a crappy feeling, isn’t it?  If you want to get out of the crappy place, you’re going to have to grab your walking stick and get going on your journey.

What if you don’t – will anything awful happen?  Sadly, no.  I say sadly because so many of us seem to have been trained to stay in the status quo until something REALLY BAD happens.  You know where you’re settling don’t you? I sure do.  I’ve settled for good enough in marriages, jobs and all kinds of living situations because I was too lazy, too scared or too ego-focused to make a change. 

I stayed in those less than fabulous places until I couldn’t stand it anymore.  I knew I had a choice the whole time I was settling, but for whatever reason, I didn’t move forward until it was so painful that I no longer had a choice to stay stuck.

That’s what I mean—the situation is neutral.  The information that your hands show you are facts, about where you are now, and where you’ve been.  Your hands lay out the path for reaching your potential – for having more fun, for earning more money while making a huge difference, for changing the world and still having time to hang out with your peeps Sunday nights on the back porch.  That stuff is neutral until you attach emotion to it.  Nothing bad happens because you get your hands read – but you may not be able to shake that nagging feeling that you’re settling in your life after your reading.  And that can be life changing.  (in a good way)